Tails Sugary Skypatrol
by Darkness78
Summary: A parody of Tails Skypatrol. If you haven't heard of this game, this fanfic will tell you a bit about it.
1. The Story Begins

For those of you who've never heard of the game, Tails Skypatrol was a really short Sonic game released for (I think, correct me if I'm wrong) the Game Gear in Japan only. I've never played it; I just happen to have watched an LP of it and thought of this parody. This is shorter than my stories usually are chapter-wise- please don't complain!

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><p>I'm sorry if I misspelledmessed up any of the character's names. I'm doing my best, but spelling phonetically does have its flaws. Also, I won't be doing a spoof of the tutorial, though it is mentioned as one of the 5 stages.

Enjoy!

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><p>Chapter 1: The Story Begins...<p>

"I can turn animals into crystals!" Wendy Witchcart proclaimed, "I think I'll rule the world!"

"How cliché!" Falkawolf the Wolf commented.

"So uncreative!" Bearinger the Bear rolled his eyes.

"You could've done a million other things with your ability! You would've gotten farther helping Ribbon and Kirby!" Carrotea the Rabbit jeered.

"Hey! It's a good idea! It's not cliché or unoriginal!" Wendy turned to Carrotea, "And by the way, wise guy, Kirby 64 hasn't even been MADE yet! Shut up!" Wendy went on the yell, "You all had BETTER help me or else this won't be much of a game!"

"You do realize that there are only 5 levels in the entire game?" Falkawolf informed rudely.

"AUUUUGGHHHH!"

Meanwhile...

"ZOMG! BAD GUYS!" Tails exclaimed as he looked to the sky, witnessing Wendy and her minion's flying around pointlessly. He knew what he had to do, and took to the sky... for... some... reason... with his ring to use as a weapon.

A few minutes later Tails was ready to fall from tiredness.

"Argh! I knew I should've walked!" Tails lamented angrily, "And if I crash from this altitude, I'll be dead for sure! WHERE IS ENERGY WHEN I NEED IT!" Then he noticed a single mint candy lying in front of him, "Ooh! Candy!" He swallowed it, and felt more energized. With a newly instilled excitement, Tails shouted, "Another reason to like mint candy!"

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><p>Explanations<p>

Candy- In the game, your flight meter is basically your health bar. It slowly goes down as you fly (which is basically the only thing you can do). If it runs out, you fall and die. Candy refills your flight meter by giving Tails more energy... Hmm...


	2. Falkawolf the Wolf

The next chapter! Hope you enjoy it!

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><p>Chapter 2- Falkawolf the Wolf<p>

With the discovery of the candy, the feast began. Swallowing sweet after sweet, Tails knew he would always have enough energy. Shortly, he met the first boss- Falkawolf!

"Oh look it's a boss! Teehee, a boss! I like bosses! Bosses are fun! Yay for fun! I like fun! Woohoo! Yeah! Are you a wolf? Cuz you look like a wolf! Wolves generally look like wolves! Yaaay! I have to send you to prison now! Yay for prison! Yay in general! Yaaay!" Tails rambled quickly, having eaten enough candies to cause a major sugar high.  
>"Kid, you're scaring me..." Falkawolf began to run away.<p>

"Aw! I'm not scary! I'm fluffin' adorable! Don't you think so? I do! And so do sooo many people who I don't know! Yay! I like saying yay! Do you? Yaay!" Tails proceeded to bash Falkawolf multiple times with his ring.

"Stop kid! Ow! That hurts!" Falkawolf continued to run away.

"You can stop now! You have to go to prison, remember?"

"Get away!"

"Aww, you look sad! Some candy will cheer you up! It most certainly cheered me up! I like candy! Candy is soooo great!"

"Candy is something you've had too much of..."

Tails made a sudden discovery. "Hey look! I can grab you with my ring! Kinda like in Klonoa except Klonoa hasn't been made yet!" Tails advanced to pick Falkawolf up and send him on a little trip to the prison.

Falkawolf sighed, "At least I don't have to put up with that kid again..."


	3. Bearinger the Bear

Probably the secord-shortest chapter in the story. I don't see why I'm obsessing over that- maybe just because I'm normally a stickler for long chapters. :D

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><p>Chapter 3- Bearinger the Bear<p>

"That was a fun boss! Fun is so fun!" Tails eyed a crystal, "Ooh shiny!" He picked it up, "I gotta collect more of the shiny things!"

And so he descended into the next area.

"What up with all these skeletons? Skeletons aren't nice! Oh well, they don't scare me! Whee! This is great!" Tails squealed. He'd eaten more candy by then, preserving the ever dominant sugar high. Somehow, this high made Tails perspective of danger changed from something to nothing. He flew happily through this creepy place, with a blithe laugh and an appetite for more candy.

The boss, Bearinger, appeared at the edge of the screen.

"You shall not defeat me... whoever you are." Bearinger introduced.

"I'm Tails!" Tails waved, showing a huge smile, "I have to send you to prison now!"

"I'm getting out of here."

"Come back! I want you to be coming back!" Tails shot out his ring at Bearinger, hoping to grab him.

"Don't touch me!" Bearinger screeched, his ironic inner coward showing.

"I only wish to grab you! Grabbing is fun! Fun is fun! You'll love it!"

"No I won't! I do not intend on going to prison!" Bearinger was trembling at this point.

"See? Like this!" Tails finally was able to grab Bearinger," It wasn't so bad, right? Now let's go to prison."

"P-P-Prison isn't sc-sc-scary, right?" Bearinger stuttered fearfully. Tails began laughing hysterically.

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><p><strong>Don't forget to press this blue button and write words in the text box that comes up! ;)<strong>

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	4. Carrotea the Rabbit

Chapter four is here! Woohoo!

This chapter is personally my favorite. I love what I did with Carrotea's personality! I hope the whole sugar high thing hasn't gotten old yet...

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><p>Chapter 4- Carrotea the Rabbit<p>

"Airships! Awesome! I like airships! Airships are great! Great is great!" Tails proclaimed happily. Forget that there are enemies hellbent on killing Tails and random instant kill walls; he thought this place was completely safe and fun.

Sooner or later, he reached the boss of this place- Carrotea.

"Hi Miss Rabbit! I'm Tails!" Tails gave Carrotea a toothy grin.

"So, you're the hero, eh? Refer to me as Carrotea- it's easier that way. Now, lemme make you a deal here- you don't attack me, and you get this total package right here." Carrotea winked seductively.

"Sorry, Carrotea. I'm only eight!" Tails replied cheerfully, "Anyway, you have to go to prison now! But I'm sure prison will be fun!"

"Stupid kid." Carrotea muttered, then flirted louder, "Oh, forget age limits. Me and you-we were meant for each other. Don't let prison get between us."

"You're a bit creepy. I think I have to send you to prison for that. Is there a law against that? I don't know! Oh well! Let's have you go to prison!"

"Running away!" Carrotea screeched, as she took off.

"Where are you going, creepy lady? I want to follow! Whee! I WISH TO GRAB YOU!" Tails shot out his ring at Carrotea.

"Ow! That's no way to treat a lady!"

"But you're a criminal..."

"A criminal you will never catch!"

Tails grabbed Carrotea just then, and promptly did a perfect rendition of the nicknaming sequence you go through when you catch a Pokémon, "GOTCHA! Would you like to nickname your rabbit? Yes! I'll call her Creepy!" he shrieked, smiling as usual.

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><p><strong>Please Review! I beg of you! Please!<strong>

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	5. Wendy Witchcart

The second to last chapter of the story!

Tails has finally reached the final boss!

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><p>Chapter 5- Wendy Witchcart<p>

"Hey, look! It's a creepy castle! Sort of like a haunted house! I love haunted houses! And no amount of random mine carts, enemies, or instant-kill walls can change that." Tails commented. Instantly, all three of those things appeared in front of him. "Oh well!" he shouted happily.

Wall after wall came, but they were all no match for Tails. And the random mine carts actually proved to be quite the help. For the final level, though, this was pretty ordinary.

The boss was as well, ordinary (in terms of the fight).

"No, hero! You shall never defeat me! But instead of turning you into a crystal, I'm going to run away like a chicken on this mine cart!" Wendy promptly rode away, and Tails followed.

"That's not fair! At least do something special! You're the fluffin' final boss! Don't run like this! This isn't great! SONIC GAMES HAVE FLASHIER BOSSES THAN THIS!"

"This is a good boss fight! A boss for the ages! Don't insult me!"

"Yeah, right!" Tails newly acquired short attention span caused him to switch topics randomly. He stated quickly, "Anyway, you have to go to prison! Come on! Let's go!" He shot out his ring at Wendy.

"No wait! You're ruining my good idea! Don't grab me! I don't wanna be mocked by my peers!"

"Sorry, but criminals go to prison!" Tails grabbed Wendy Witchcart, then proceeded to bring her to prison.

"Noooo! I will be back! I promise you! This isn't the end!" Wendy called.

She was sent to prison, the world was now safe.

Tails broke out into a sugar high dance, then collapsed.

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><p>Hope you enjoyed it! R&amp;R!<p> 


	6. Epilouge

Wow! The final chapter already! Hope you all enjoyed this!

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><p>Epilogue<p>

Tails eventually got up from his fall, with a major junk food hangover. He vowed never to eat that much candy ever again. He was, however, satisfied with the way he had destroyed evil, though he could not remember much of the adventure.

Ribbon and Kirby were on their own for the crystal shards. Too bad. They had over 70 to collect, a crystal witch would've helped a ton.

Wendy Witchcart's minions did their time in prison, and then went on to form a gang. They performed several crimes against humanity, but was quickly destroyed by a jealous rival gang. Neither gangs were heard of again.

Wendy Witchcart herself didn't form a gang of any sort. In fact, her life became a tragedy, as she'd become a real butt monkey. To add onto that, Wendy never got to fulfill her promise. In fact, she wound up suffering the same fate as Nazo, never to be in a game or other media ever again. She wanted to turn the people of Sega into a giant crystal as an act of revenge, but could never make it past their security guard Mephiles...

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><p>Explanations<p>

Mephiles- In my opinion, Mephiles was desperate for a job after discovering that, despite how popular he is, it was highly unlikely for him to be in another game. However, due to his multiple felonies, he could only get a job as a security guard at Sega. Worked out for Sega, I suppose!

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><p>Please review! It makes my day!<p> 


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